depressed cunt

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=[

So ive have the worse start to a month so far. first i thought i might have been all good knowing i have some close friends by my side and that things wuldnt fuk up caus it felt right to me. well one week later we had a fight and it kinda didnt feel the same anymore. so im at home everyday by myself, jus wondering wat im guna do now, is there anyone else i can depend on. someone i can hang with u noe, wen ur down u can talk to em and they wont be a bitch no matter wat. well i can take some bitchyness but the point is, i hate it wen they jus leave the situation, and that makes me angry and sad inside to know that once someones gone, who do u call? and who u can see wen u want some air.

So yeh, kinda happened again. last nite i kinda had an argument? with someone i recently thought i can depend on from now on. we hardly know each other but i know she can be the one that i noe i can depend on for reassurance. i guess i sed the rong words to her, or maybe its caus she took it the rong way and im sorry i made her fink that she wasnt a true friend, evn tho i only saw her once in my life. it was enuf to know she is capable to be there to help me for a long time at least.

After she didnt wana talk to me, i knew i had to do sumfing. i didnt wana repeat wat hapened before. i gota send her txt or call or wateva. jus had to send her a message and let her noe im actaully trying to keep us in tact. i jus wanted her to noe im not willing to walk away from this that easy. i dont wana lose her jus yet. caus i can tell shes special.

this morning i was planning to go shops and buy a box of chocolate for her and leave it by her doorstep(hopeing she was home lol) with a note saying im sorry. i noe it sounds a bit.. weird saying sorry like that :L but i jus wanted to make her noe that i tried. but my fukin dad.. didnt let me out at all. he started raging like the dickhead his always been and it pissed me off soo soo bad.. i jus locked my self in my room ==" so my plan failed epically. and i fink shes still mad. too scared to call her right now and i dont evn know where she is now. so im jus hoping i can talk to her asap. like i sed, dont wana lose her just yet. ill need her.

latrz .

wata boring life i have

wow man, this is the first time ive touched my blog since ages. and alot has changed since my last blog too. well, im jus sitting here like a bored cunt tryna study for the subject i hate most =_= (geo) while listening to depressing music that makes me happy ? if that made sense to anyone. ive had such a shit month once again. i hate being at home, knowing that all i get is rage and orders to follow, like wtf =.= leave me alone man. evryday im always wanting out of this shithole. jus wait till hsc is over.

last nite i finally got out from misery. went and met up with nicole and jus drove around and ate pretty much. it was a fun nite i guess, and also taught her how to drive manual too haha. nicole is actually a good learner (Y) so all you poeple have nothing to fear on the streets bahaha but it was good meeting and seeing her. someone new to hang with these days.

so i woke up this morning to find out my dads already out, and gone to get us pizza. and i thought, wow kool pizza time. he comes home gives me the pizza and starts telling me off for my car? and my work? like wtf? and like always, he goes on and on and on until he actually leaves the fukin house. well yeh, shit morning to start off with, and i can imagine 2morws guna be shit as well.

well, so far, i fink i rote a pretty ddamn boring blog. the title speaks for itself. i literally have a boring life. so yeh, just informing everyone, FML.

peace.

I was a bit too late

When i finally realise who i was she really was, i started to talk and to realise it was too late to react to anything she did previously. I regret going out with that thing back then. she anoys me everyday and pisses me off 24/7 continuously. But I regret so much choosing this anoying freak over someone who culdve made me happier for a long time. I never noticed her around, but now i do, and i can give u a thousand reasons why she culd be the one but its a bit late now tho. but, we are still close friends and we'll see where we are later on in time. but thinking about it today, im a fool for loving someone who never really completed me and to later on anoy me everyday.

and now all i do is beg to see her wen shes free, even catching a glimpse of her is enough to get thru my day as her presence makes me happy.

Too True

Friends come and go. But for the ones that go, add a little peace in our fuking lives for once.

Amen

R.I.P LiLi .

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close buddies to me - 6/1/09 - 10:20pm

so ive been thinking lately. about my friends that ive known for a long time and ones that i only just known not too long ago. they mean alot to me caus without them i wuldnt be myself and probably wuldve failed life :L

anyways, just a run down of the friends i have :

Theresa
she helped me heaps. without her i wuld be lost in this world. she has always encouraged me, helped me, and teased me lmaos. if these stuff havnt happened, ill be in much worse state than i am atm. i know shes going through alot of pain atm. i know sumtimes she jus wants out. but im trying my best most of the time to lift her spirits and help her all i can, the same way she helped me before. if i ever hafto look back in life in my success, it'd be her that guided me in the first place.

David (shorty LOL)
david, seems like ive known him for a very long time yet ive only known him for a few years now. his like a brother to me. we look after each other. his made an impact on my life greatly and wont be forgotten.

Jimmy
jimmy, like david is like a brother. we take good care of each other at partys, always :L but yeh his a good guy, someone u can depend on and he'll take real good care of you. like he did to me all these years. always will love this doode.

Justin
ive known this lil doode for so long now, its only natural to say we're not just good friends but a close brother jus like david and jimmy. justin, a caring person. actually his a VERY caring person. ive been through situations where ive managed to get through only caus of the help of him. it isnt just me that he helps. his helped so many friends around him to believe that impossible is nothing to him. glad we met.

Annie (pal college)
she inspires me to do better than i can most of the time. she teases me, laughs at me punches me, but all the time i needed her most she has made the most of it and made life so much easier for me to live. she has her own situations as well. as good friends i help her the same way she helped me. at the end of the day i feel much better knowing she'll be a bit happier than before in the current situation shes in. as long as she is by my side, i could always depend on her.

Vy
my one and only godsister. shes such a fatt ass chick who always eats and sleeps everyday LOL jks. nahh.. i love this girl as much as i love the others. shes such a good friend and caring too. shes killed some much of my bordem :L but shes a good girl, but i jus wish she wuld shout me for once ==" LOL.

Annie (Canley High)
shes just a bonus that came with vy that i find anoying. LMAO! jks jks hahahhahaha shes a funny anoying girl. i go to her wenever i need to laugh LOL and shes good to go grocery shopping with :D POPAYA ! LOL

Jennifer
one of my important friends atm. i know wat shes going through everyday and i noe that she just wants out already but during the time i just want her to know that ill always be there to take good care of her no matter what happens to her, ill make it better. she has the worse problem ive ever heard from a friend. so im doing all i can to make life easier for her to realise that life isnt that bad. ive known her for a long time now, and i dont wana stop knowing her beause theres so much more id like to find out about her that makes me want to stick to her. good to have you.

Marijana
my best friend since year 7. shes really important to me caus shes like a sister to me. we have so many memories yet i want them to keep rolling on as much as possible. shes one of a kind and im so happy to have to have her as my best buddy as she will affect my life greatly now and in the future, i know it.

Thats pretty much the people i remember right now, but im sure theres so much more people in my life that has helped me and guided me and stuck by my side, and i thankyou all heaps and i love you all ! =)