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So ive have the worse start to a month so far. first i thought i might have been all good knowing i have some close friends by my side and that things wuldnt fuk up caus it felt right to me. well one week later we had a fight and it kinda didnt feel the same anymore. so im at home everyday by myself, jus wondering wat im guna do now, is there anyone else i can depend on. someone i can hang with u noe, wen ur down u can talk to em and they wont be a bitch no matter wat. well i can take some bitchyness but the point is, i hate it wen they jus leave the situation, and that makes me angry and sad inside to know that once someones gone, who do u call? and who u can see wen u want some air.

So yeh, kinda happened again. last nite i kinda had an argument? with someone i recently thought i can depend on from now on. we hardly know each other but i know she can be the one that i noe i can depend on for reassurance. i guess i sed the rong words to her, or maybe its caus she took it the rong way and im sorry i made her fink that she wasnt a true friend, evn tho i only saw her once in my life. it was enuf to know she is capable to be there to help me for a long time at least.

After she didnt wana talk to me, i knew i had to do sumfing. i didnt wana repeat wat hapened before. i gota send her txt or call or wateva. jus had to send her a message and let her noe im actaully trying to keep us in tact. i jus wanted her to noe im not willing to walk away from this that easy. i dont wana lose her jus yet. caus i can tell shes special.

this morning i was planning to go shops and buy a box of chocolate for her and leave it by her doorstep(hopeing she was home lol) with a note saying im sorry. i noe it sounds a bit.. weird saying sorry like that :L but i jus wanted to make her noe that i tried. but my fukin dad.. didnt let me out at all. he started raging like the dickhead his always been and it pissed me off soo soo bad.. i jus locked my self in my room ==" so my plan failed epically. and i fink shes still mad. too scared to call her right now and i dont evn know where she is now. so im jus hoping i can talk to her asap. like i sed, dont wana lose her just yet. ill need her.

latrz .