depressed cunt

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So ive have the worse start to a month so far. first i thought i might have been all good knowing i have some close friends by my side and that things wuldnt fuk up caus it felt right to me. well one week later we had a fight and it kinda didnt feel the same anymore. so im at home everyday by myself, jus wondering wat im guna do now, is there anyone else i can depend on. someone i can hang with u noe, wen ur down u can talk to em and they wont be a bitch no matter wat. well i can take some bitchyness but the point is, i hate it wen they jus leave the situation, and that makes me angry and sad inside to know that once someones gone, who do u call? and who u can see wen u want some air.

So yeh, kinda happened again. last nite i kinda had an argument? with someone i recently thought i can depend on from now on. we hardly know each other but i know she can be the one that i noe i can depend on for reassurance. i guess i sed the rong words to her, or maybe its caus she took it the rong way and im sorry i made her fink that she wasnt a true friend, evn tho i only saw her once in my life. it was enuf to know she is capable to be there to help me for a long time at least.

After she didnt wana talk to me, i knew i had to do sumfing. i didnt wana repeat wat hapened before. i gota send her txt or call or wateva. jus had to send her a message and let her noe im actaully trying to keep us in tact. i jus wanted her to noe im not willing to walk away from this that easy. i dont wana lose her jus yet. caus i can tell shes special.

this morning i was planning to go shops and buy a box of chocolate for her and leave it by her doorstep(hopeing she was home lol) with a note saying im sorry. i noe it sounds a bit.. weird saying sorry like that :L but i jus wanted to make her noe that i tried. but my fukin dad.. didnt let me out at all. he started raging like the dickhead his always been and it pissed me off soo soo bad.. i jus locked my self in my room ==" so my plan failed epically. and i fink shes still mad. too scared to call her right now and i dont evn know where she is now. so im jus hoping i can talk to her asap. like i sed, dont wana lose her just yet. ill need her.

latrz .

wata boring life i have

wow man, this is the first time ive touched my blog since ages. and alot has changed since my last blog too. well, im jus sitting here like a bored cunt tryna study for the subject i hate most =_= (geo) while listening to depressing music that makes me happy ? if that made sense to anyone. ive had such a shit month once again. i hate being at home, knowing that all i get is rage and orders to follow, like wtf =.= leave me alone man. evryday im always wanting out of this shithole. jus wait till hsc is over.

last nite i finally got out from misery. went and met up with nicole and jus drove around and ate pretty much. it was a fun nite i guess, and also taught her how to drive manual too haha. nicole is actually a good learner (Y) so all you poeple have nothing to fear on the streets bahaha but it was good meeting and seeing her. someone new to hang with these days.

so i woke up this morning to find out my dads already out, and gone to get us pizza. and i thought, wow kool pizza time. he comes home gives me the pizza and starts telling me off for my car? and my work? like wtf? and like always, he goes on and on and on until he actually leaves the fukin house. well yeh, shit morning to start off with, and i can imagine 2morws guna be shit as well.

well, so far, i fink i rote a pretty ddamn boring blog. the title speaks for itself. i literally have a boring life. so yeh, just informing everyone, FML.

peace.